How I Saved the World (or My Computer)
It was a pretty mundane work day, until I realized that the Internet didn’t work and had to move to connect my laptop to a different LAN port. I got up, laptop in both hands, and there was this strange noise coming from the hardware, like something broke off from the motherboard and scuttling around like a pachinko ball. I stopped and shook the computer a bit from side to side to check to see if I was/was not going crazy (confirmed: not crazy), and one of the girls got up from the desk and said, “Oh my god, there’s smoke coming out of your computer!”
Cue, me calmly freaking out. I felt like I some form of a time bomb in my hands, with strange rattling on the inside and smoke coming out of air vents (do bombs have air vents?). The standard procedure would probably be A. sending the computer back to Dell in the U.S. B. Have Dell probably ship it to China (probably, because 75% of everything is now done in China) for repair, and C. Get computer back after four weeks. D. Plus a couple more for it to come over from the U.S. to China.
Cue, more freaking out. Now, I don’t exactly use my computer to its fullest capabilities (see: Adi), but the little use that I make of it is really, really important. How else would I write essays, do assignments, talk with my family/friends back in the States, and most importantly, check e-mail, which seems to be the center of my universe? My 250 kuai cell phone with text messaging capabilities (gasp!)* is not going to cut it.
Cue, sage-like voice of another girl: “Wait, the Dell headquarters is on the 5th floor, why don’t you go there and ask them to fix it for you?”
Cue, Mendelssohn’s Midsummer Night’s Dream Wedding Overture. I got to the receptionist’s desk and frantically explained my situation in Chinese (only after asking if I can speak English, to which the receptionist answered, “Try speaking in Chinese.”), and the receptionist first gave me contact information of two repairing centers. I wasn’t happy being turned away at the headquarters of the company that made my ailing laptop, so I decided to switch into half-Chinese half-English mode, urgently arguing that I needed someone to look at my computer NOW because there was no way there wasn’t anyone on-site that could take a look. And VOILA Chinese skills and acting was convincing enough that a scruffy Chinese computer engineer-esque person comes out with a Dell ID card hanging around his neck with screwdrivers and a plate with cake (they were celebrating something I guess, there were some foreigners going in and out of the office) came to fix my computer. It turned out the problem was a tiny plastic component breaking off, so the guy just shook my computer and took out the piece.
And that is how I saved the world.
*the author does not text using her phone in the United States and plans on keeping it that way.