10 Reasons Why Cornell is like Hogwarts

View of Hogwarts from the Black LakeCayuga Lake from Cornell

1. We have an abnormally shaped lake that sits at the bottom of absurdly steep cliff-like hills. Said lake has all sorts of interesting creatures in it. While Cayuga lake may not have a giant squid propelling through its “blue waves” (see Alma Mater translation for my argument against this line), the Men’s Heavy Weight Crew team makes up for that by doing some of their own propulsion in the early morning mist.

2. Skorton is like Dumbledore. His masterful reputation proceeds him, and when he makes appearances at commoner events (like the freshman reception on Rawling Green during move-in day) people gather to revel in his majesticness. No he does not have a long flowing white beard or a delluminator, but he does have a Cornell hat and the ability to belt out the Alma Mater with the Cayuga’s Waiters, without shame! (Shameful plug for their Spring Fever XXXVII Concert happening on April 29th. Click Here to Buy Tickets….okay Austin, I want my formal date now). Spotted: David Skorton getting take out from Applebee’s in October, welcome to the neighborhood!

3. Gen. Chem. / Magical Mushrooms and Mystical Molds. Potions and Herbology. Need I say more?

Cornell Law Library

4. Our Libraries

are dopplegangers to eachother. Even our librarians are sneak around the stacks trying to catch us doing something wrong….I promise, my eating a powerbar is NOT going to hurt your books. Don’t kick me out of the library for that.

AD White Room

5. We have a Quidditch team. And other random sports, like polo. But seriously, the Quidditch team practices every week, sometimes in front of Risley or on the Arts Quad.

6. Engineers are like Voldemort*. Every time they take a prelim, a little bit of their soul detaches from them, making them just that much less human. And when they integrate themselves into classes outside of the Enginerd school, they drastically throw off the curve in an evil attempt to make us all feel their pain.

7. The Weather. They have harsh, snowy winters (as evidence by the magical dumping of snow in every film)…we have harsh, snowy winters. They have howling wind and pelting rain streaking across the Great Hall night sky….we have howling wind and pelting rain streaking across our faces.

8. Townies are like muggles**. They just don’t understand us, and most choose to believe we do not exist. The ones that do believe we exist treat us like Uncle Vernon treats Harry boy himself, yelling at us for making noise, and trying to keep us contained enough that their relatives and colleagues don’t have contact with us.

9. Getting a good grade is like finding a Horcrux in the Room of Requirements. Rare and hard earned. Okay, so our situation might not be life threatening (read…fire jinxes being shot at us), but other than that its exactly the same. You study and study, prepare your plan of attack, take on the task head on…not exactly sure what you’re getting yourself into, then hope for the best and prepare for the worst. If it turns out in your favor…good on you…if it doesn’t, try again another day.

10. Collegetown = Hogsmeade. Weird shops (proper puss and Mexeo, anyone?), fun for a few hours on the weekend (i.e. 11PM-1AM), conveniently located when you need it (or if you live there), and sketchy bars that attract a wide range of residents (Wednesdays are IC take over night).

*Disclaimer* I have two enginerd roommates, I mean this in jest. They do, in-fact, have souls

** This is also meant in jest. The townies are, for the most part, wonderful. And the noise violations that we get in Collegetown are propbably deserved.